Welcome to a new series that I am considering – how to make your shitty day better. I won’t call it that, but for now it’s kinda catchy. If you are currently having “one of those days”, or even if you’re not, here are 10 pieces of advice to get you through today (and life).
One
If you don’t ask, the answer is automatically no. I can’t remember who it was in my life that said this to me (it is usually always my mum), but it’s one that I need to remind myself of. As someone who is very scared of rejection, I often choose not to ask something just in case I hear the word no. But, if you don’t ask, the answer will always be no. So, you may as well ask.
Two
Non-attachment theory. I talked about this in a previous post – it is a buddhist concept. David Michie says: “it is one of life’s curious paradoxes that the goals to which we have greatest attachment are most likely to escape us, while those we don’t care so much about just fall into our laps”. It’s hard, but next time a job prospect, potential love interest, or exciting opportunity comes up, try to let go of the idea of having that thing. Be open to it, but do not put all of your energy and focus onto it, and see what happens.
Three
There is a beautiful quote that I have had plastered to my desktop wallpaper for years, and it goes like this: “you can be soft and successful, a traditionalist and a rebel, a lover and a fighter, vulnerable and invincible”. Don’t ever let anyone label you, put you in a box, or feel that you can only be one thing. You can be anything you want to be.
Four
I used to use this app with my boyfriend – it’s called Paired. Every day, it asks you a new relationship question. One of my most favourite questions was: what is the hardest truth about love you’ve had to accept? My answer: “you need to always keep working on yourself and your relationship to have a successful one; and love / a relationship won’t give you everything you want. There has to be compromise and sacrifice”.
Five
This one is actually from a YouTuber whom I love – Lana Blakely. In her video 19 pieces of advice you didn’t ask for but need to hear, she says: “plan, but be open to something different”. This is great advice, and very relevant to me a lot of the time. I like planning, and can struggle when things don’t go the way I had hoped. But letting go of control and learning to be open to different things gives you freedom, spontaneity, and exciting possibilities.
Six
Another quote that can be found on my desktop background, that is equally as brilliant: “actually, life is beautiful and I have time”. This has to be one of my favourites ever. As a 25 year old, there are so many societal pressures to have everything in your life either figured out, or on their way to being figured out. What is so important to realise is that while life is short, it is also long. I know that is completely contradictory and makes no sense, but at the same time, it makes perfect sense. To me, this means – enjoy the moment, take life as it comes, and take it at a pace that you feel comfortable with.
Seven
I have some second-hand career advice from Erica Williams Simon. She says: “don’t ever attach yourself to a person, a place, a company, an organisation, or a project. Attach yourself to a mission, a calling, a purpose only. That’s how you keep your power and your peace”. Enough said.
Eight
There was this quote I saved onto my Notion, way back when I used it frequently in 2020. It’s about people, and how they could be there for a reason, a season, or a lifetime (pretty sure I took this from a Justin Bieber song but let’s ignore that). The quote is: “sometimes we outgrow people who aren’t growing”. When we grow and mature and improve ourselves, it can mean that we leave others behind – that’s okay. You will always find new people who will grow with you.
Nine
I don’t know if you’ll be able to tell, but this piece of advice is from me. It’s okay to read a fiction book once in a while. This may not make a lot of sense initially, but it is more what it represents. I read a lot of non-fiction books. Most of the time I prefer them, but sometimes I read them because I always want to be learning. This is a reminder that you don’t always have to be learning. It’s okay to take a breath, take a break, and just read a damn fiction book and enjoy it. Enjoy life.
Side note – currently reading Ghosts by Dolly Alderton. What a banger.
Ten
My last piece of advice is: “fall in love with the process of becoming the very best version of yourself”. Growth takes time, work, patience, courage, resilience. Enduring pain and failure is so rewarding when you finally reach success. It is a never-ending challenge. So, why not find pleasure in the journey?
Yours,
Kait x
Cover photo by Shvets Production